I’m not arrogant!

January 18, 2010 at 7:26 PM | Posted in leadership | Leave a comment
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How well do you know yourself? Do you know how your actions and words come across to peers, your audience, and your family?

Self-awareness can be a difficult skill to master. Even the most self-aware can, occasionally, use a reality check. How people perceive you can make a tremendous difference in your success as a leader and a businessperson.

What you perceive as helpful questioning during a meeting your peers may perceive as arrogance. Your attitude with subordinates or folks you are working with may be perceived as aggressive or over confident. Your quiet reserved manner may be screaming cold and uncaring to those around you.

How self-aware are you? I discuss this with clients frequently. Particularly when it comes to how we use our words. I was purchasing a Congratulations card this weekend and here’s an example of what one said-

Congratulations!

I hope you’re proud of yourself.

I don’t know about your father, but mine said, “I hope you’re proud of yourself.” most often when I had really messed something up and he was making a point. It wasn’t said in a favorable way. When I read that card I almost fell over! Based on my perception of the statement I would never give that card to anyone.

You have to ask yourself how your words are landing with the individuals to whom you are speaking. Your tone, inflection, facial expression and posture make a tremendous difference in how your words are received.

The concept is similar to your appearance. You certainly wouldn’t show up in a corporate attorneys office with shorts, a t-shirt and flip-flops on- not if you expected them to take you seriously. (Ok, maybe on casual Friday, but I doubt it.) You dress appropriately for the situation.

Your behaviour must be appropriate for the situation. If you would like people to believe you have their best interest at heart your words, tone, and expressions must all mirror that interest.

If you’re not sure how self-aware you are ask a trusted friend or peer to be honest about how you are perceived. Be prepared to get feedback you might not be prepared for initially and don’t ‘shoot the messenger’. Knowledge is power and once you know how you are perceived you can look at how your behaviour might be creating that perception.

I use a great tool with clients that really helps to hone in on how your peers, friends, co-workers, and subordinates perceive you. It allows us to identify areas for growth and areas of strength.

Take a look at what you are doing and ask how those around you might perceive your actions. Be your authentic self. Raise your self-awareness, choose to behave the way you want to be perceived and good things will happen.

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What’s In It For Me?

January 11, 2010 at 1:36 PM | Posted in content, leadership, writer's block | 1 Comment
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When I am working with clients they usually want to talk about big, broad topics. Social media, marketing, building their business….

As their coach I find I always need to do some digging. While a client might not understand how to use social media there may be more fundamental issues at stake. Have they identified their target market, have they determined what their greatest benefit is to their client? What about consistency? Do you have a client with great big ideas that has trouble focusing on a particular goal for more than a short time?

Even clients who have been successful for years may need to reexamine some of these issues to make sure they are still on target.

Let’s look specifically at WIFM- What’s In It For Me. Me isn’t You, Me is your client.  What is important to your client? What benefits do you offer them? What differentiates you from every other speaker or coach out there?

This is the information that attracts clients to you. Everyone wants to know how you can help him or her – specifically. What can you do for me?  Write your tweets, your website, your advertising copy with your client (a meeting planner…) in mind.

Everyone else seems capable of doing this- grocery stores advertise sales, Macy’s has 40% off of shoes, Lowes Home Improvement offers 50% off of tools. As service providers we seem to have difficulty sharing exactly what our benefit is to the client.

Instead some of us spend our time telling clients how many degrees we have and how fabulous we are. Yes, that will convince some clients to sign up but they still want to know how you can help them. They don’t necessarily care that you will use Myers Briggs or Tilt. They do care that you can help them identify traits that will make them a stronger more successful leader; that you have a Mastermind group they can participate in; that you have a message their audience wants to hear.

When you write copy think about what you want to know as a customer. Sometimes it’s difficult to put yourself in that space so ask a friend. Your assistant, your spouse even an existing client might help you find the exact words. Look at some of your testimonials- what are your clients saying they value about your work? Those are benefits. For some it’s their heart, maybe it’s your tough love with a side of compassion.

Let everyone know how you are different and how you can benefit him or her. You’ll be glad you did!

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